Update:

Wow I haven't posted anything for a while now.

Life is so much better! No more stress or confusion.
The rain has stopped
The birds are chirping
and I am so pleased with my life as of now!
I am going to a paaarrttyyy at my aunties house today.
Family reunion I guess.
My uncle stay one cool cat and surfs better than me!
chee

Any whooo
I'm going to the pool to swim some laps with raeeechel!

oh and and and and
I love my boyfriend

and my friends

and afton is home
yay

One day I hope to be happy and happy and happier than ever!
This makes me smile

Very Worried

I guess stressing makes things much much worse.
But dammit I can't help this.
This can not happen to me!
I'm 18, this needs to come together.
Oh lord the stress
make it stoooop!

Arrival

Raechel is on a plain home right now. She's gonna be TWO hours late! But I will forgive her later.
It's starting to get rainy AGAIN! What a welcome home for my lovely gal.

Today has been pretty rough for me.
Built up anxiety from finals and when I finally get to breather from it my hormones come crashing down.
That would happen wouldn't it?
My boyfriend is having a rough day therefore I must feel his pain.
Not exactly a problem, but he is one that I WANT to have..always...
Love him I must and love him I will because I love him!


Megan should be here in multiple minutes to pick me up.
Things get worse before they get better.
And in a couple hours the stars are going to aline perfectly once again.

Last Day

Today I shall try my best to pass my finals.
Enough of stress and anxiety.
My best friend comes home tonight and I get to see her beautiful face!
The ground is wet and I stupidly wore shorts to school.

I am here way too early.
Sitting in my truck and people are staring.
BLAH BLAH screw you!

I decided:
•This break is going to be amazing
•It's going to go by way too fast
•I LOVE my boyfriend =)
•The ocean is way too dirty
•I need a car not a truck
•I want to put on new nail polish
•Afton should be treated better and be more appreciated by her family
(who in which ARE her family;duh)
•I'm hungry all the time
•I hate arm wrestling because it reminds me of how weak I am.
•I'm going to do horrible on my Bio exam.
•I am wasting my time.
•I don't know what I'm going to do with my life anymore.
•I need a new game plan.

lah lah lah

"Mining the moment for something that feels good, something to appreciate, something to savor, something to take in, that’s what your moments are about. They’re not about justifying your existence. It’s justified. You exist. It’s not about proving your worthiness. It’s done. You’re worthy. It’s not about achieving success. You never get it done. It’s about “How much can this moment deliver to me?” And some of you like them fast, some of you like them slow. No one’s taking score. You get to choose. The only measurement is between my desire and my allowing. And your emotions tell you everything about that."

one more thing

Though we may be bored, or angsty, upset, or just tired.
Remember to find something to be happy about or we will fall into a walking coma.

Seek joy, first and foremost.
Seek reasons to laugh.
Seek reasons to offer words of praise to self and others.
Seek beauty in nature, beasts and other humans.
Seek reasons to love. In every segment of every day — look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of love.
Seek that which uplifts you.
Seek opportunities to offer that which uplifts another.
Seek a feeling of Well-being.
Know that your value can only be measured in terms of Joy.
Acknowledge your absolute freedom to do any of these things or to not do any of these things — for it is, without exception, your choice in every moment of every day.
•Abraham-Hicks

oh the rain

It's so dreary outside. I feel like I haven't seen the sun in years, but it has only been a couple days. Once again my work calls me to tell me I don't need to work, that's like 3 shifts in a row I haven't worked! I need money!!
This rain is really killing me. I feel so exhausted even though I have been at home every night and I sleep in until nearly 9. Everyone has been really eggy lately, some say it's because of the stars, the moon, the rain. I think we all just need a break. We need something new to come along to pull us out of this boring hole we live in.

One day I wish to live somewhere where the leaves change colors and the air is crisp.
I want to own a house with a porch and rocking chairs. With two large dogs that go with me everywhere.
I want to be surrounded with friends that are constantly a joy.
In love and in life is where I want to be one day.
When that day comes I will look back at this time in life and be proud.
That I actually got through the dullness of Hawaii at this point.

Excitement... PLEASE come my way!

hello all

We practice the Art of Allowing. Which means reaching for the thought that feels best, not the thought that is the real thought, not the thought that is telling it like it is. Telling it like it is only holds you where it is: “Damn it, I’m going to tell it like it is. I’m going to tell it like it is, because everybody wants me to tell it like it is.” Tell it like it is if you like it like it is. But if you don’t like it like it is, then don’t tell it like it is–tell it like you want it to be. If you tell it like you want it to be, long enough, you will begin to feel it like you want it to be, and when you feel it like you want it to be, it be’s like you want it to be.

I'll tell you it's okay if you tell me back.
I'll answer your phone calls if you listen to me as well.
I'll hug you when you need on if you comfort when I sorrow.
I'll convince you not to if you take care of me too.

I'll tell you when you're being ridiculous if you are honest too.
I'll tell it like it is if you take it in and deal.