Really

Can this month get any worse right now? It has been three days without water, and now the plumbers can't come until monday? Really?
And finally when I started to have faith that people here can be actual friends. Of course they all disappoint me.
I am starting to believe that people this day and age are in capable of caring for anyone else but themselves. I don't care if you say you 'care' for your boyfriend or girlfriend. The only reason you do is because 'caring' for them makes them 'care' for you, which is just like only caring for yourself. If they didn't 'care' for you then you would move on and say screw it, find someone else to fill your time and only think of yourself.
I thought moving to California would be so great because I would meet new people, see new things, experience life. But so far I am just experiencing life. Yes, I have met new people, but they simply pass by without a thought that maybe we could actually be real friends. It amazes me how friendships can be taken for granted, actually it disgusts me! I could be wrong, but I feel that people from small towns actually appreciate life more and experience more in life because we never take life and friends for granted. We take advantage of every moment and live with love for one another.
I don't exactly know what I am trying to get at here, I guess I am just ranting. And maybe I am home sick, because this place does not feel like home.
Home is where the heart is, home is where true friends are made, home is where family that loves you are, home is where love is, home is not here for me!

This really sucks being alone. =(

Step back

The night comes closer
with the beginning of each day.
never taking a step back
to let it all in.

How did I get here?
When did I arrive?
Is this really happening?

Questions whirling through time
that never seems to stop.
I stop to look and everything is a blur,
everything keeps moving.
But me...

No one notices, no one cares.
They take advantage of my time standing,
Just a brief moment of their life.
Not realizing the time I had put in.

The sting sinks deeper.
I am misunderstood and left with nothing,
the grass is always greener
but only if you tend it.

I guess I am finally appreciating what I had.
Or did I just take advantage of it?
I guess it is too late.
So I will unwind, and get back into the movement.