disappointed

Yes times are feeling like they should.
But of course they will never last.
Friends are leaving in a month or so.
And I, am stuck doing nothing with my life.
Spending way too much for a community college,
not at all knowing what I am doing.

A boy friend who thinks he will never amount to anything.
no one to rely on, no one to trust anymore.
On top of that I feel like people are dropping dead left and right.
I am TIRED OF MY LIFE!
I need to do something!

You never know, I could be the next body found.
The next victim, the next tragedy, less then a loss.

What a rude awakening to my dull bitter sleep.
I've got to get out of here,
even if I have to break my own heart to do it.

But will I?
of course not, because motivation is not in my criteria.
If I even had one...

life

It's funny how things can get out of view,
people looked over, and time taken for granted.
Never stopping to as how he/she is doing.
Thinking the time is yours and for no one else.

The phrase "see you later,"
never really served much purpose,
when later means another life.
Life is too short to take for granted.

Love everyone, and embrace the day.

----------------------------
R.I.P. Warren
My prayers are with you.

new

Starting over is always the hardest thing.
Although refreshing, every step and every word
is hesitated and at times taken back.

The people I once held onto so dearly,
are slipping away between my fingers.
Never to be seen or heard from in days,
weeks, months, years.

Returning with a message,
probably just wondering what I have been up to.
But of course, a new life, with out you.
Unsure if apologies are in order.

I reply with a smile and say:
until next time, have a good life.

Horoscope

Today my horoscope said that the flowers of my heart will blossom.
Oh Lord I really hope so.
I'm tired of being tucked in the darkness, lonely and depressed.

Thank you Afton and Nash for noticing and caring.
Even though I don't see you Nash much, I'm glad you are still my friend.

Please summer light,
shine on my darkened life

mood: thinking positive.

PS: People have been taking this whole TROG movement WAY too seriously. I figure if they are, they are way to insecure about themselves. We can't all like everyone and not everyone will like us, so we are all the same. As far as the north shore goes, Trog has been the label for a girl or whatever that a person doesn't like, so if you have nothing good to say you minus well say it about yourself. Cause someone just might be calling you a trog too.

days keep passing

one two three four
Everyday is going by waaaay too fast. With nothing significant or exciting to remember them by.
My friends are distant and I am left feeling abandoned.
Making new friends are so hard at 19 years old.
New plans are emerging, revealing a new life ahead.

Forget about me if you must.
But I won't be around long to bring back the memory.

Family and my love are all that I have.
Holding me back, in a good way not bad.
I need change!
North shore is so lame these days.

Now, time to finish another day
dull and insignificant.

change of sight

Hearing shit
is different than listening to shit.
Saying shit,
is different than doing shit.

I am tired
of people making shit with people.
Walking on the people that have been the best to you.
Talking only leads your mouth to a fist.

Stop talking, and face what your claiming you'll win.
Stupid girls and stupid lies.
1 2 3 4,
you don't know and that is really sad.
5 6 7 8
lost track and your life is down the drain.

Get over your life, it's really not that great.
DO something beside fail.
So sad, I would feel for you, but I don't.

----------------------
Fights last night were SICK!
I have way more respect for those guys and girls now.
Next time, boys are in for the win, coming for your neck haha
Sky is currently teaching me some shit and shit. haha
learning to throw a punch when I thought I already knew.
But now it's just a little harder!
YEAH BIIITCH talk shit I'm training to take you down.
tehehe, I'm not one for violence, but you mess with my friends
you mess with me, BRING IT!

broken

4:13am and my heart has never felts so empty and shattered.
Life is a bitch, smacking me in ever direction possible.
When everything seems to be getting better,
all of a sudden I become a snotty bitch.
THAT'S NOT ME! BELIEVE ME! I would never ever ever want to come across as THAT!

How do I tell someone I love them, after they say they don't want me anymore.

This is the worst feeling in the world!
WHY GOD?! Is this punishment for not having control over my emotions?

CHANGE, it's what I am trying to do. FIx everything, mend my swollen heart
and swollen red eyes.

Now, 4:16am
I lay down and try again.